dear peanut butter jar makers,
i like your peanut butters very much. i especially like the crunchy. it is an important ingredient to my sandwiches which also can include yet are not limited to bananas, honey, jelly, jelly beans, chocolate chips, and bacon.
but i find the jars i need of one major improvement: a wider mouth. i realize technological advancements in jar designs haven’t changed in the past many centuries, but when it comes to the butter of the peanut i think something needs to change. visualize if you will me trying to scrape out the last one-fifth of the contents of the jar on the left (see picture) with my hand holding a knife. you can imagine the peanutty butter coating the back of my hand as i reach down for the main feature? can you feel it coat you hand? it lends itself to needing to scrape it off my hand. if i choose not to be coated, good peanut butter goes to waste. do you know how much is thrown away each year? can you fathom all those peanuts dying in vain?
now, the jar on the right has a better design, although it too is not really wide enough. i am able to extract more of the p.butter out with a simple knife with less coating of my hand. but i don’t believe this to be the final design to eliminate peanut butter hands. more work needs to be done! i mean, you guys have laboratories set up for just this kind of testing, right? guys in lab coats and clipboards watching people stick their hands into jars of peanut butter playing a game of “operation” to try to avoid touching the sides? this is the twenty-first century! i truly believe you can do better. i have faith in you. and i do believe that we will never have flying cars until we can solve this problem.
so, what do you say, guys? jif? peter pan? skippy? who’s gonna step up to this challenge? you could be the trend-setting company to redefine peanut butter jars for the industry.